It is a good thing that I have a bunch of chores to do around the house today. Art therapy this morning was a bit challenging for my poor brain and all I want to do is curl up under the covers and take a nice long nap….But that is probably not the best choice, so I will busy myself with the laundry, some yard work and other things and let myself be distracted. Plus, it is a gorgeous day today…so I think getting outside and being active will do me more good than hiding under my blankets.
So, I printed out and shared my posts about the Art Therapy Fail with the Art Therapist. He pointed out that in my blog, I had actually said the things that I couldn’t write in the letter during therapy….that if I took the question marks away….the words were right there. (So it would be, “Her life was going to suck. People that were supposed to love and care about her were going to fail her. She would be confused and afraid and lonely. Very bad things would happen to her. She would end up hating herself.”) Then he had me sit at the drawing table and slid a piece of paper in front of me and asked me what the “Innocent Me” would say to back to the “trauma me.”
My first instinct was to not do it because it seemed even more impossible a task than the “trauma me” to “Innocent Me” letter. As a matter of fact, it was so stressful that just for a few seconds, I slipped away (disassociated) so that I had to ask him for the directive again because I couldn’t remember it. (Funny how quickly my brain can erase things that are really emotionally stressful.) I wasn’t able to get words onto the paper. All I could think was that the “Innocent Me” would just sort of collapse and melt away after hearing what the “trauma me” told her…..So, I ended up drawing a picture to represent that.
This all took far more brainpower than one would think.