Mandala Day 7
Last night, I dreamed that I was a child and at some sort of day camp program with probably 50 other kids. I was maybe a preteen in my dream (younger maybe?). I was wearing a lightweight cotton flowered dress, kind of a little girl dress. For some reason I felt like I didn’t belong at the camp or that I wasn’t supposed to be there…Not sure why. I was with a group of kids doing a performance on stage and my parents were supposed to be there to watch but they weren’t there. After the performance, I was sitting in on the floor with most of the other kids as we watched another group perform but I was kind of towards the back and a bit away from the other kids. A man came in from behind me and sat down beside me, so close that he was touching me. He put his arm around me and pulled me hard against him so that I was pressed against his side. Then he leaned his head towards mine and started sniffing the back of my neck and nuzzling me….which made me feel ill. He was probably in his 30’s and had a full beard and the beard was scratching me and hurting me. Then, I got up (I am not sure how I got out of his tight embrace), scrambled away and pushed my way into a row a few rows ahead and sat between a teacher and another kid. I told the teacher I needed to move away from the “creepy man.” The man sort of faded out of the dream and then while I was watching the other kids performance, I heard my parents arrive. They sat at a table in the back. After the performance ended, I ran over to my parents, but they weren’t paying any attention to me, they were excitedly looking out the window because a grizzly bear had just gone by. Then everyone was looking out the windows for the bear and my parents still were totally ignoring me. I ended up standing there in a group of people feeling totally alone.
I woke up from the dream feeling sick to my stomach. And I can still feel the sting of being ignored by my parents and the yuck-feeling of the creepy man touching me. If these dreams keep up, I’m not going to want to go to sleep anymore!