I feel like I did something wrong in Art Therapy yesterday….It was about my in-session art directive…after I drew it, the AT asked me to pretend that I was the therapist and then asked me what I would say to the person who did the drawing and some things along those lines. And I kind of got this sinking feeling that he doesn’t know what to do with me anymore. And I feel a little bit queasy just thinking about it….Like, what if he actually can’t help me? What if I really am too broken to fix?
He also spent some time asking me questions about what makes therapy hard for me. Again…I felt really uneasy with his questions. Isn’t therapy supposed to be hard? Am I doing something wrong?
I don’t know…I have a bad feeling about all of this. It is clear to me that I need to re-think what I have been doing in therapy. I think I need to try harder. To that end…I sat down last night and drew some more pages in the coloring book. I don’t really care about it…but I kind of feel a need to appease the Art Therapist…If I demonstrate effort and commitment then maybe he will stick with me.