Darkness Arrives


Darkness Arrives

So…my mood had been doing really well for the past few weeks…Like I felt like a normal person again…Actually, better than normal…practically euphoric!  But I can totally feel it slipping. It started last night…I don’t quite know how to explain what happens when it starts to drop…but I can feel it settle on me…It sort of drifts down out of the air and drapes over me…profound sadness and despair.  I don’t know what brought it on yesterday, as a matter of fact, I had a great day yesterday! But then in the evening…I felt the mood shift.  I ignored it though…sometimes, I can sort of shake it off. But this morning, I feel like sobbing and just want to curl up in my life-doesn’t-matter ball and be left alone forever.

I did have another horrible dream last night….so I know I am a bit raw from that.  These dreams are just going to do me in.  I can handle the regular nightmares….even the ones where I wake up in “freeze” mode.  But dreams like I had last night…they are just so repugnant, I can’t take it.  I wake up feeling disgusting and dirty and just betrayed by my brain.  Definitely, not a good way to start the day.

I do have some positive activities already on my schedule for today…Yoga and then lunch with a friend.  Hopefully, these two things will counteract the mood spiral I am feeling.

2 thoughts on “Darkness Arrives

  1. Moods are temporary, happy moods and sad moods. they appear and then they disappear. What I have been doing lately is to watch myself when they happen. Does my breathing become heavy or shallow, do I tighten up my chest (yes, often).
    Wishing you a wonderful day….

  2. I’m so sorry that your mood is slipping down. It’s not fair. 😦 you life does matter. It matters a lot. Hang in there. Do things that make you happy. As many as you can find. Nightmares have a way of making everything seem dreadful. Hopefully you can pull through this and have a great day. If not, tomorrow will be a better day. Sending you tons of positive thoughts and gentle hugs, if okay. xx

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