So…my mood had been doing really well for the past few weeks…Like I felt like a normal person again…Actually, better than normal…practically euphoric! But I can totally feel it slipping. It started last night…I don’t quite know how to explain what happens when it starts to drop…but I can feel it settle on me…It sort of drifts down out of the air and drapes over me…profound sadness and despair. I don’t know what brought it on yesterday, as a matter of fact, I had a great day yesterday! But then in the evening…I felt the mood shift. I ignored it though…sometimes, I can sort of shake it off. But this morning, I feel like sobbing and just want to curl up in my life-doesn’t-matter ball and be left alone forever.
I did have another horrible dream last night….so I know I am a bit raw from that. These dreams are just going to do me in. I can handle the regular nightmares….even the ones where I wake up in “freeze” mode. But dreams like I had last night…they are just so repugnant, I can’t take it. I wake up feeling disgusting and dirty and just betrayed by my brain. Definitely, not a good way to start the day.
I do have some positive activities already on my schedule for today…Yoga and then lunch with a friend. Hopefully, these two things will counteract the mood spiral I am feeling.