Yesterday I started my morning with yoga, which was fantastic. I get sooo much out of yoga. And the instructor talked to me a little bit as we started our session about the changing seasons and asked how I was doing with it. And she talked a bit about how life kind of goes up and down and that it is all part of who we are and to embrace those parts…It was a very sincere discussion and I really appreciated it and it gave me some things to think about. I really like my instructor and she has this knack of saying the things I need to hear at the time…It is a little bit unnerving, but is really helpful.
So. Today is another Art Therapy day. And I am again feeling ambivalent. Or maybe more than ambivalent…I have thought of quitting Art Therapy several times in the past couple of weeks. I think what I really need is to have therapy slow down and give me a chance to regroup and get my feet under me.
Have you ever been swimming in the ocean? And you know when a big wave comes and hits you and knocks you off balance? If you can get your footing back, you can stay standing and then you are ready for the next wave and the next. But if the first wave knocks you off balance, and your feel get out from under you, then the next wave hits you as you are struggling to regain your balance and pushes you further down, and the next wave hits you and does the same. You struggle and panic and then you get hit and slammed down by another wave. That’s kind of how therapy feels right now…Like I just keep getting hammered and I am totally off balance and I am going to drown. What I need is some slow and gentle waves to come so I can get a chance to get back on my feet and get my footing again.
We’ll see how that goes today.