The Windy Hinterlands
Yesterday was actually an okay day for me. After I dumped my anger on my blog, I felt much more balanced and was able to let most of my frustration stop eating at me. I did channel some of my anger energy into chores around the house…So, I was productive rather than destructive with it.
Yesterday was hard for my PTSD though. We had a windstorm yesterday. It started in the morning and peaked in the evening before finally tapering off in the middle of the night. When it is really windy like that, the house shakes and the windows and doors rattle and there is lots of noise outside. It always sounds like there is someone trying to get into the house and it makes me soo nervous and jumpy. And when I went outside at some point to check the chickens, I thought I heard a man’s voice in the woods and I about jumped out of my skin. I scanned the woods, but there was no man to be seen and then I realized it was really the creaking of two trees rubbing together. My brain understood the sound, but at that point, the adrenaline was already flowing and my edginess was even edgier. My hyper-vigilance and startling were in overdrive all day.
Of course, when it is windy like that, it is hard for me to sleep for the aforementioned reasons. So, this morning, I am really, really tired. I will probably take a nap later.
It will be interesting to see what it looks like outside when the sun comes up. The other thing a bit unnerving about these windstorms is that we sit in the house and listen to the trees breaking. It is like that in big snowstorms too. It is kind of a wild place here when the weather gets active. Oh…and the power goes out a lot too. Last night, it only went out for a few hours, but in the winter when we have huge snowstorms and the power company is stretched thin fixing things, our power goes out for days. (Like 3-4 days.) Never a dull moment here in the windy and snowy hinterlands!
I have Art Therapy today and I am glad I am going. No ambivalence today, I just want to go and get some work done.
And it is a Nutritionist day again. That should be pretty uneventful.