This And That

I slept last night with no really bad dreams.  I had some weird dreams and a dream in which I was afraid of one of the characters in the dream because I had displeased him….But no nightmares or night terrors.

Today is going to be a low key day…I have pottery this evening, but until them, I pretty much plan on staying in my jammies and just doing stuff around the house…Oh…I will probably walk the dogs later, I guess I will have to doff my jammies for that and put on something appropriate for being seen in public…and for the chilly weather.  🙂

I finished my Hope Trap on Monday…I have so many things to take pictures of and blog about….That will give me something to do today.  I will get a bunch of pictures taken so I can blog about them in the near future.

Yesterday was okay, I had a rough start in the morning…But I decided that I would paint something and burn off some of my post-nightmare energy. I didn’t end up painting, but I did create this.

And I did end up feeling better after.

I saw my PNP yesterday too…We talked a lot about dissociation and about Art Therapy and a broad range of other things.  I did bring up the meds that she had mentioned at our last appointment.  I actually gave some real thought to starting a new med and I concluded that I was not going to start either of the meds.  Now…don’t get me wrong, I know that I always say “no” to her…But I actually had some sound logic to it this time.  The meds she wants me to try both have weight gain as a side effect.  It seemed like that side effect would totally contradict my efforts with the nutritionist to lose weight and get off my BP meds.  And my body-image is so negative already, I am not sure the benefits of the meds would outweigh the self-loathing and self-judgement that would occur if the meds made me gain weight.  There is another med that she has brought up several times for sleep that I have sort of been dismissing, but I got her to write the name  of it down yesterday, so I can look it up.

Taking care of myself seems like an awful lot of work….Meds, appointments, introspection, exercise, socializing, eating right…..I sure hope this all pays off in the end!