Fretting About Food Issues
It is my pre-holiday vacations triple decker appointment day. This is the last time I will see the AT until January 4th. Actually, it’s the same for my Nutritionist. I see my PNP today too, and then have a fill-in appointment with her next week to help bridge the AT’s gap. Honestly, I feel like I am in a good place though… I am glad I have a plan for when the AT is gone…but I really feel like I am going to be fine.
So…the Nutritionist appointment….I have done such a poor job with my goals this week. Out of 30 possible meals, I diversified once. And honestly, I would not have even done it except that dh cooked tofu and rice for me and I felt obligated to eat it. I ate a decent amount of tofu and had about two tablespoons of rice and then some Brussels sprouts. The whole meal was diversified food (i.e. food that I haven’t been typically eating). I pretty much wanted to cry because it wasn’t my routine, but I didn’t. I just pushed past my feelings and ate what dh made.
I just do not know how to let go of my rigid food routine. And I am already stressed (and have been for about a month) about all the different eating I have to do this week…Between our Solstice celebration, Christmas Eve at my MIL’s and Christmas day at my parents’….I am nearly in a panic about what I am going to eat and how much. I am not worried about overeating, but rather being seen maintaining my minimalist serving sizes as well as eating things that are way off of my “safe” list.
And I am particularly worried about my MIL’s Christmas Eve dinner because I don’t think she really “gets” gluten free diets. Plus the whole vegetarian thing….She is planning on making pork roast and despite our asking a few times what else she is making, she says she hasn’t decided. So, I can’t make a plan related to what she is serving. At this point, we will be taking some sort of dish to share so that we know for sure there will be at least one thing I can eat. (I am thinking of making roasted cauliflower steaks.) Going to my MIL’s is stressful enough without adding in the food component. It will be a long evening with her.
Yesterday, I spent the afternoon packaging up all my homemade presents into nice little gift baskets. I have to say, I am quite satisfied with how they came out. I feel good about gift giving this year in terms of our extended family. I have really enjoyed making candles and soaps and vanilla and flavor-infused sugars and ornaments (in pottery class) etc, etc. I like feeling good about what I did…It makes the holidays more fun.
And Speaking Of Holidays….
Once my appointments x3 are out of the way, I am picking up dh at work (early) and we will be in Solstice Celebration mode. I am sooo glad that I took the time to revitalize Solstice this year. It just feels right. And dh and ds are happy too. 🙂
Dh worked very hard to make a small “cave” in the backyard on Saturday. Part of our celebration is putting candles in the cave to burn during the night as well as other symbolic items. I don’t have time to explain it all this morning, but I just wanted to show you what an amazing job he did. He used rocks from an old stone wall and dug it into the steep (super steep!) hill behind our house. You can see it perfectly from the kitchen window. Anyway…he made it look like it has been there forever. I love it!
Oh…and in the close up, you can see two “trenches” under and on each side of the cave. I had dh dig them so that I can plant my <ahem> fall bulbs in them. It might be possible that I have not actually planted my bulbs yet….But given our crazy weather, I am hoping to get away with my delay.