The only part of yesterday that followed plan (or at least very nearly followed plan) was yoga.
Yesterday, I had yoga scheduled for 9:30, a check-up with my Primary Physician at 11:40 (to look into the recent development of heart palpitations) and then at 1:00, a playdate with SS and Pixe. It was a pleasing, tidy schedule.
And then at 7:30 the Dr’s office called and said they had had a pipe leak and were tentatively cancelling my appointment. We rescheduled for the 31st. Now…this was annoying because this was an appointment where they wanted to see me ASAP. As in they wanted me to go back in on Monday. And then yesterday was the next soonest time they had. And somehow that ASAP was turning into the end of next week….<sigh>
Then just before 9, my YI emailed asking if I wanted to shift our time a half hour or so because she had a lot going on. I could have still gone at 9:30…But I had just spent 20 minutes in my closet agonizing over what to wear to yoga (and in the end…what did I wear? The same old outfit.) My anxiety was through the roof and so I emailed her and said it would be nice to bump it back to 10 then I’d have a little time to regroup. And I warned her about my anxiety.
Yoga was good. She was able to pull me down from my anxiety and tenseness and get me to smile and appreciate the time doing yoga. I left feeling tons better than when I started.
And right as we finished our very last bit of yoga, my phone vibrated and it was the Dr’s office. It seems that my doc really wanted me to go in (I guess they really meant ASAP). So I booked it over and we talked about my heart palpitations and low calorie eating and how low calorie eating can hurt your heart. And then they checked my BP and my heart rate…And my heart was racing. Which bought me an in-office EKG. Which got me a very thorough medical exam. I told her about my anxious morning, but she was concerned that something cardiac was going on…So I earned myself a trip to the ER.
Now, at this point, I was just exhausted and a smidge numb (remember, I didn’t sleep well the night before) and I felt anything but anxious. I drove to the ER and dh met me there. And I got a second and third EKG. And blood work. And an IV. And…..they could find nothing wrong with me. (Yay!) So, the doc asked if I had anxiety and I said, “Yes” and he started attributing the tachycardia to anxiety and decided he would give me a dose of lorazepam to see if it would bring down my heart rate. Well…holy hell! That dose of lorazepam hit me like a load of bricks. (I am truly a lightweight when it comes to those kinds of meds) and since they gave me the lorazepam in my IV (vs. the pill form I take at home) it has a more immediate and potent reaction. Not only did my heart rate drop…so did my respiration, such that they had to put me on 02 to get my 02 saturation out of the 80s (upper 90s is ideal).
Based on my response to the meds, the doc decided it was anxiety, told me I was now fine and then sent me home…Where I had to pretty much stay seated all evening because otherwise I was careening around the house like I was drunk. Too much lorazepam is bad!
Now…that’s the story. And far be it from me to question the ER doc….but……I don’t know that I was having tachycardia from anxiety. I know that the lorazepam took care of it…but my god, that sedative also took care of my breathing and my physical and cognitive function…..In other words, it seemed to hit every aspect of my being…so why wouldn’t it decelerate my heart?
And I have had intense anxiety moments “attacks” before and they felt nothing like what happened yesterday. Like I said, at the ER, I was exhausted and kind of numb….I was not ramped up and shaking and restless…I was laying on the gurney with my eyes closed wishing for a nap. Does that sound anxious to you?
In the evening, I talked to my PNP who agreed with me that it didn’t sound like it was my anxiety. She expressed concern about my SNRI, Fetzima, (that norepinephrine again!) and since my mood is okay on the recent Lamictal increase, she wants me to drop the Fetzima dose starting today…To see if that doesn’t settle down my heart some. So…we shall see what happens.
And the worst part of yesterday….I missed making ornaments with SS and Pixie and I am really disappointed about that.
It was not the day I planned.