Unexpected Detour

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Unexpected Detour

The only part of yesterday that followed plan (or at least very nearly followed plan) was yoga.

Yesterday, I had yoga scheduled for 9:30, a check-up with my Primary Physician at 11:40 (to look into the recent development of heart palpitations) and then at 1:00, a playdate with SS and Pixe. It was a pleasing, tidy schedule.

And then at 7:30 the Dr’s office called and said they had had a pipe leak and were tentatively cancelling my appointment.  We rescheduled for the 31st.  Now…this was annoying because this was an appointment where they wanted to see me ASAP.  As in they wanted me to go back in on Monday.  And then yesterday was the next soonest time they had.  And somehow that ASAP was turning into the end of next week….<sigh>

Then just before 9, my YI emailed asking if I wanted to shift our time a half hour or so because she had a lot going on.  I could have still gone at 9:30…But I had just spent 20 minutes in my closet agonizing over what to wear to yoga (and in the end…what did I wear? The same old outfit.)  My anxiety was through the roof and so I emailed her and said it would be nice to bump it back to 10 then I’d have a little time to regroup. And I warned her about my anxiety.

Yoga was good.  She was able to pull me down from my anxiety and tenseness and get me to smile and appreciate the time doing yoga.  I left feeling tons better than when I started.

And right as we finished our very last bit of yoga, my phone vibrated and it was the Dr’s office.  It seems that my doc really wanted me to go in (I guess they really meant ASAP).  So I booked it over and we talked about my heart palpitations and low calorie eating and how low calorie eating can hurt your heart.  And then they checked my BP and my heart rate…And my heart was racing.  Which bought me an in-office EKG.  Which got me a very thorough medical exam.  I told her about my anxious morning, but she was concerned that something cardiac was going on…So I earned myself a trip to the ER.

Now, at this point, I was just exhausted and a smidge numb (remember, I didn’t sleep well the night before) and I felt anything but anxious.  I drove to the ER and dh met me there. And I got a second and third EKG.  And blood work.  And an IV.  And…..they could find nothing wrong with me.  (Yay!)  So, the doc asked if I had anxiety and I said, “Yes” and he started attributing the tachycardia to anxiety and decided he would give me a dose of lorazepam to see if it would bring down my heart rate.  Well…holy hell!  That dose of lorazepam hit me like a load of bricks.  (I am truly a lightweight when it comes to those kinds of meds) and since they gave me the lorazepam in my IV (vs. the pill form I take at home) it has a more immediate and potent reaction.  Not only did my heart rate drop…so did my respiration, such that they had to put me on 02 to get my 02 saturation out of the 80s (upper 90s is ideal).

Based on my response to the meds, the doc decided it was anxiety, told me I was now fine and then sent me home…Where I had to pretty much stay seated all evening because otherwise I was careening around the house like I was drunk.  Too much lorazepam is bad!

Now…that’s the story.  And far be it from me to question the ER doc….but……I don’t know that I was having tachycardia from anxiety.  I know that the lorazepam took care of it…but my god, that sedative also took care of my breathing and my physical and cognitive function…..In other words, it seemed to hit every aspect of my being…so why wouldn’t it decelerate my heart?

And I have had intense anxiety moments “attacks” before and they felt nothing like what happened yesterday.  Like I said, at the ER, I was exhausted and kind of numb….I was not ramped up and shaking and restless…I was laying on the gurney with my eyes closed wishing for a nap.  Does that sound anxious to you?

In the evening, I talked to my PNP who agreed with me that it didn’t sound like it was my anxiety.  She expressed concern about my SNRI, Fetzima, (that norepinephrine again!) and since my mood is okay on the recent Lamictal increase, she wants me to drop the Fetzima dose starting today…To see if that doesn’t settle down my heart some.  So…we shall see what happens.

And the worst part of yesterday….I missed making ornaments with SS and Pixie and I am really disappointed about that.

It was not the day I planned.

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6 thoughts on “Unexpected Detour

  1. Oh Heidi. I am so sorry for all that. I hope the culprit for the erratic heart can be figured out soon.
    I hesitate to say anything about restrictive eating since I have similar issues on the opposite side of the spectrum, but my thought is to at least stay within appropriate caloric intakes for your age and weight each day, enough to still lose, but also enough for the body to do what it needs to do.
    If the body feels it’s starving it won’t burn calories as effectively, instinctively saving them as if it hit hard times.
    I hope the fast heart rate hasn’t anything to do with that.
    I also wondered if the restrictive eating had more to do with controlling at least one thing because being with those at these upcoming gatherings you have no control over. You can call in sick to gatherings if you want to.
    Nor does it seem one has control of feelings, thoughts or memories. Not eating, or eating too much, (I know the later) can take ones mind off of scary feelings, thoughts and memories. Helpful in some ways, not healthful in others.
    Geez, funny how I worry about you!

    • Thanks so much, for both your concern and your thoughtful response. Yes…the food restriction is about control and also about intense fear that i will gain back the weight that I have lost. And really, they feed each other because the more control I exert, the more my weight drops.

      I don’t have the courage to call in sick to the gatherings…At this point, my current anxiety about them is actually less the “family insanity” part and more of, what will I eat and will people observe me eating too little? The eating disorder part of my brain is totally in control right now…I talked about it briefly with my physician yesterday, but her main focus was on the cardiac situation. I have a follow up with her the week after next. And of course, this is something the Nutritionist is addressing as well.

      I think I am doing the best that I can right now…I cannot describe the intense anxiety any change, even the slightest change, to my food routine causes me. Fixing it is going to be a slow process.

  2. Hugs to you, my brave friend….I hope either the mystery is solved, or there is no occurrence! Nice that your PNP listened to you and your perspective!

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