20 Years

20 Years

Twenty years ago today, dh and I were married.  We had a tiny wedding at his mother’s church and I was already three months pregnant.  I had not planned on getting married…I don’t really think that being married has much to do with a person’s commitment to a relationship.  But…when we became more educated about kinship issues (which are not as clear as you would expect) we decided that it would be important to be legally married.

And though we joke that it was a shotgun wedding, it was not.  Ds was a very planned pregnancy.  The baby was planned…the wedding was not. 🙂  How’s that for out-of-the-box thinking?

Now…my legal reasoning for being married does nothing to diminish the significance of our relationship.  And handily, it gives us a date to celebrate because I couldn’t tell you when dh and I went from being friends and roommates to being partners.  Somehow, our relationship just sort of happened…It is hard to explain.  As a matter of fact, I would have never guessed I would end up in a long-term relationship with a man.  But that is a whole other story.

So…How is it to have been married to your best friend for twenty years?  Pretty awesome!  We make an incredible team, and support each other with our strengths.  And being with dh always makes me feel like I have “come home.” I feel safe and warm and content.

We have plans for celebrating our anniversary on the weekend.  I am hoping I can get over myself and let myself have a good time (we are going to a restaurant for dinner and my food issues are causing me significant anxiety about it), then we are spending a night at a beautiful bed and breakfast (with anxiety-inducing eating situation #2!).  I am really looking forward to the couple time.

I am not big on posting pictures of myself and family on my blog (I like to pretend I have a shred of privacy on the internet…though I know it is not actually the case!) but I wanted to share this picture of dh and me.  It is an oldie…May of 1994, but it is the first picture of us together.




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