Ugh…The Awful Book!
I read the book. I can now look the Nutritionist in the eye and say that I did my homework. I will say, that having an better understanding of the Internal Family Systems model did help me get through the book…And I think I understand the theory differently now, but I still contend that it is a muddy and poorly written book and the illustrations trivialize the message and some are just plain offensive to me.
And in terms of introducing IFS to the lay-person…I don’t think so.
And in terms of giving it to someone with an eating disorder as a reading assignment…I found it a huge turn-off that the book represented the subpersonality of food and eating as “Happy Pig.” Really? Is the lack of sensitivity in this representation just me being over sensitive, or does it seem a poor choice?
I would have liked a bit more of a theoretical analysis/intellectual kind of book. And some empirical data to support the validity of the data and techniques being presented. And I would have liked to see a little bit less of the author’s personal experiences used as examples.
Will I share any of this with the Nutritionist? Nope. I will smile and nod and say I read it and that it wasn’t the best fit for me. I might ask her what main points she thought would be of benefit to me…But I don’t have enough trust with her to offer a critical opinion.
My Other Homework
I had Art Therapy homework too….And I am really, really reluctant to take it in and show him. What he asked me to do and what wanted doing do not match up…I feel very vulnerable about it. I also feel pretty guarded because I know I did the wrong thing. I feel all anxious and jittery about showing him. And I can tell you this, I won’t be able to look him in the eye because I will feel embarrassed and feel like he is going to judge me.
Okay…I am now going to remind myself that therapy is my safety zone. I can be me…I can be the me that I don’t let myself be anywhere else, I don’t have to pretend that everything is okay, I can show that things are messy in my brain. It is okay. He will not judge. Safety zone. Safety zone. Safety zone.
And The Rest Of The Day…
Nutritionist appointment. I am doomed. Except for one day, I met my goal. But…I still ate way too few calories each day and I still lost a chunk of weight. (Which doesn’t necessarily bother me…but again, I know did the wrong thing according to her goals and I will be stressed about it.)
Primary Physician appointment. Still doomed, please refer to prior doomed-ness. And…she gave me an eating challenge when I saw her on Friday and I failed with it. So, I am double-doomed.
I think today is going to suck.