I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday. I guess it went okay. I mean, the doctor was fine, but I am getting the message, “It’s up to you” a lot about my eating. And I get it, it is up to me…But when people say that (the Nutritionist has said it too) I feel a lot of pressure. I don’t think it is meant as pressure, but I internalize it as such. And when I feel pressure about my eating, it makes the hyper-focus worse.
I actually find the “It’s up to you” stance to be very disheartening. It kind of threw the rest of my day….I just feel discouraged and hopeless when people say that. If it was that easy, if I could just wake up one day and start eating normally, I think I would have…But it is so much more complicated than that. Yes, it’s up to me…But I don’t know how to do it.
And I had more blood work done yesterday. My liver enzymes have dropped quite a bit, one being back in the normal range and the other being elevated still, but much better. Of course, another part of the blood work had dropped…I will have to wait and see what my doc has to say about it before I worry. A couple of results aren’t back yet…One being my vitamin D.
I also had an unexpected surprise at the doctor’s office. The psych meds fairy appeared and gave me a bunch more sample packets of my medication. Since this particular med is my most expensive med, I truly appreciate all the help I have been getting with it.
At this point, I am simply trying to not think about Monday’s appointment. Really, what I want is to follow-up on something he said…But I have to wait until Thursday to do so. Basically, I am
impatiently patiently biding my time to follow-up and then figure out what I am thinking/feeling. Tomorrow will not come soon enough!
More work on the kimono baby sweater. I have knit this pattern a few times before and it always seems to come out wider than I want. Next time I knit it, I am going to cast on with ten fewer stitches. I think that will trim up the width nicely.
And starting on a basic baby blanket. The yarn is so lush and plush, I don’t want to make a fancy blanket…The yarn is the star of this blanket. I started it on knitting needles, but the yarn is sticky and doesn’t slide nicely. It was making me grumpy and hurting my hands. However, I am prepared to implement any yarn related contingency plan and thus took the project off the needle and put it on a knitting loom. It is going much better this way.
And here’s my last knitting pic…Okay, okay…It’s not knitting. 🙂 But it is an adorably cute dog! Gotta stick in a puppy picture every now and then! As you can see, she was having a rough day.