Last night, my nightmare graduated to the kind that has me wake up in heart-pounding panic and full freeze mode. Once I had gathered my wits about me, I ran through my grounding techniques telling myself, “It is now, not then” over and over. And then I ran through…that’s dh in the bed beside me, I am in my room, ds is in his room, it is now, I am warm under my covers, I have to pee…Orienting myself to sensations, time and safety. (Therapist #2 did a fantastic job training me in this process for orienting myself to present after nightmares.)
So, out of the past three sleeps, I have had three nightmares. I am not happy about this. I hope it settles down ASAP, especially with the progression to the night terror/PTSD nightmare.
More Loose Ends
I harvested two of the lettuce gardens and cleaned both of them and the beet garden.
I gave the big dog a good nail trim yesterday. The little dog hates nail trims, so I only got two of her nails done.
I think maybe I need to make a checklist of things to do! Let’s see
- Call and re-defer student loan
- Check in with Case Manager
- Get chicken food and shavings
- Clean out chicken coop
- Deal with house plants
- Harvest last Aerogarden <sigh>
- Deliver items to various people (bag to L, soakers to J, diaper cover to SS)
- Freeze up a handful of dinners for dh/ds
- Start refrigerator bread dough for dh/ds
- Get a few items of clothing (more underpants, a couple of t-shirts, pajamas, maybe some capris…it will warmer where I am going than here)
That’s the list for the moment. I am sure it will change over time.
Breaking The News To Ds
Last night, we had a family conversation about my eating disorder and impending residential treatment. Ds was absolutely non-plussed by the whole thing. He didn’t seem worried and he didn’t have any questions. So either he has inherited the Heidi stoicism or he is just not worried. I did sort of lay it out factually…and was calm and clear. Calmness begets calmness. I’ll check in with him in a day or so and see if he has any further questions/thoughts.