Since my doctor hasn’t faxed over the medical stuff to the facility yet as she is waiting on the urinalysis, and since I told the place that I would prefer to admit on Monday, it looks like it will be a Monday admission. I am super stressed about my doctor getting the paperwork over in time. Like SUPER stressed. And I can’t look at plane tickets until I get the official okay from the place which is dependent on their doctors reviewing my doctor’s paperwork….All this puts me on edge.
I have every last little thing I need to take with my gathered on the table in my craft room. Now it’s just the waiting game.
I said good-bye last night to my best friend before I head into treatment and then she is moving across the country next week. I don’t know when I will ever see her again. This is a huge loss for me. And I barely feel anything. I have shut down feeling so as to not have to deal with it.
I am just tired. Like aching in my bones kind of tired. I know it is from suppressing my feelings. I know it is from anxiety about going into treatment. I know it is from fighting my ED. I know it is from not eating enough. But…I am just tired. I don’t feel like I have anything left.