I don’t have much to say today. I feel really depressed, discouraged and hopeless. I feel like I am not doing therapy the way I should be doing it. I feel like I am not worth recovery. I feel like I can’t eat anymore. I have hit my tolerance and am now crashing.
I hate myself for being sick and broken. I don’t know why my team here doesn’t understand that everything we are doing here is pointless because I am never going to get better.
I just wish….I don’t know what I wish. I just need something different than all of this, something that will give me some solace and peace. Or some little something that looks like hope so I can latch on to it. Right now, I don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. I just see the tunnel caving in around me and trapping me to slowly suffocate in darkness.