Six and a half weeks ago,  I arrived at Hilltop with my suitcase and backpack and my eating disorder. Tomorrow morning, at 8:15, I will be picked up and transported to the Partial Hospitalization program which is a step-down from my current level of care.

I still have my suitcase and backpack, and have accumulated some more things as well.  I also still have my eating disorder.  But I am learning and changing and no longer need the level of supervision and support that is offered here.

I am heartbroken that I am not going home yet.  It just seems like if I have to have a transition, it should be to home.  I am also sad and scared because I have to start with a new therapist.  And  new dietitian.

The next few days will be pretty rough.  But hopefully within a week or so, I will be back on my feet and still moving forward.

I know this step-down is a good thing…but I just am so afraid.