Six and a half weeks ago, I arrived at Hilltop with my suitcase and backpack and my eating disorder. Tomorrow morning, at 8:15, I will be picked up and transported to the Partial Hospitalization program which is a step-down from my current level of care.
I still have my suitcase and backpack, and have accumulated some more things as well. I also still have my eating disorder. But I am learning and changing and no longer need the level of supervision and support that is offered here.
I am heartbroken that I am not going home yet. It just seems like if I have to have a transition, it should be to home. I am also sad and scared because I have to start with a new therapist. And new dietitian.
The next few days will be pretty rough. But hopefully within a week or so, I will be back on my feet and still moving forward.
I know this step-down is a good thing…but I just am so afraid.