Making It Through The Day

Today was my first day at PHP.

For what it is worth, I did not cry as much today as I thought I would.  Mostly, I just worked really hard on keeping the tears in.  I just needed to have some sort of control and since controlling my feelings was all I could do, that is what I managed.  I did cry when I got there and was waiting for therapy.  I just couldn’t keep from crying.  And then Meg showed up for the “bridging” appointment and I cried more.  Basically, I cried through most of that appointment….Ugh…All that crying in front of the new therapist that I don’t know and/or trust.  I was sooo unhappy with myself.

I met the new dietitian today too.  It was another bridging appointment, so Mac was there too.  I have to admit I remember next to nothing about that appointment as I was just completely on emotional overload.  I guess I remember little bits, but I was just fried.

The apartment Mel and I are in sucks.  It is really dark and dingy.  Like the fridge is not clean from the prior people.  The place reeks of stale cigarette smoke.  The bathroom is nasty.  And I am not just saying these things from my germ-phobic issues, the place is yucky.  Mel and I will be doing some deep cleaning on the weekend.

Too tired for more details tonight.  And too drained to think.  But I survived day one.


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