Yesterday was a rocky day for me. The eating disorder was loud and I was struggling with starting a binge. I asked myself why I was feeling the urge. The question my therapist and dietitian at treatment always would ask is, “What are you feeling deprived of?” Because bingeing is about being deprived and trying to fill the hole. At least that is what it is for me. Unfortunately, I can’t always pinpoint what I am feeling deprived of or I can’t put words to it.
So…I was struggling and I decided that before I made it any worse, I would go outside and work in the garden. And so I did. I mowed the lawn and the dog yard and I pulled all of the stuff up out of my first little garden. Well….I left the marigolds because they are still in full bloom and I love them! After all the chores, I felt good. Being outdoors in the sunshine and fresh air was so comforting to my soul.
I even went on a walk with dh and the dogs in the afternoon. It was totally more of what I needed. I just need to get outside and get out of my head!